It's a Doll's Life!
by sikeminatural
Summary: Spoof of 6.14! Sam discovers the men that were murdered were all a part of an attempt to stop people from listening to Kesha.


DISCLAIMER: THE LYRICS USED ALL BELONG TO KE$HA AND NONE OF THE SONGS MENTIONED BELONG TO ME. SUPERNATURAL IS OWNED BY THE CW. THIS IS JUST FOR FUN.

_**PREVIOUSLY: Sam and Dean successfully defeated Lucifer and sent him back to hell and they now hunt while being executive producers of the hit TV show Supernatural, an alternative way of them 'writing' the Winchester Gospel**_

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Dean's just surfing the net when he gets his weekly CW email. He doesn't really read them but he's so fucking bored that he opens it. He skips down until he sees the summary for the Supernatural episode that is airing this week.

**DEAN RUSHES HOME TO CHECK ON LISA - Ben calls Dean (Jensen Ackles) and tells him Lisa is in trouble. Dean leaves Sam (Jared Padalecki) to investigate a case alone and rushes home to rescue Lisa, however, he's not prepared for what meets him at the door. Meanwhile, Sam discovers the men that were murdered were all a part of an attempt to stop people from listening to Ke$ha.**

Dean blinks. He wonders if he's even supposed to learn anything from that shitty summary – apart from the fact that this Lisa chick is in it. And sure, the actress who plays her is kinda hot but Dean always tunes her out after about five seconds because all she does is fucking repeat herself again, and again and again. And then a few more times after that. Dean's glad that he never got with the real Lisa. So he's not really looking forward to the episode, he's not really looked forward to an episode since the racist killer truck episode. Dean's a fucking tiger in bed, not a kitten. He's still seething over the fact that Sam's the one who supposedly has animalistic sex, because pur-leaze. Not that...he would know of course.

Anyway, Sam is obviously excited about the episode – he's always excited. Dean finds it weird though because they left _Sam_ in a frothing mess on the floor during the last episode, and Sam cried for three whole hours. Dean knows this because Sam clung to him the whole time and he's pretty sure he got whiplash or something. He doesn't get why Sam get's so caught up about the show, it's not like any of this season is _real._

"WHAT? What do you mean it isn't REAL?" Sam screeches, "OF COURSE IT'S REAL, SAM AND DEAN ARE SO BRAVE! THEY GO THROUGH ALL THAT SHIT JUST SO THEY CAN SAVE LIVES – THEY DON'T HAVE TO YOU KNOW? NOT REAL? HOW DARE YOU?" Dean just glares at his idiot brother because it's like he's forgotten that this show is based on their lives. And that warrants a whack on the back of the head.

"Ow!" Sam says as he rubs his head.

**6.13 – It's a Doll's Life.**

[The episode starts with one of those montages of scenes from the past episodes and Dean sighs because must they show the SAME clips over and over again? He reads the captions and sees that the song playing is "We R Who We R" by Ke$ha. Dean's not sure what disgusts him the most – the ridiculous dollar sign in this singer (if you can call her that)'s name, the fact that song title has R's in or the song itself. He turns to share an eye roll with Sam only to see Sam _dancing._ Dean just stares at him until he stops. Has he mentioned the fact that his idiotic brother is a ridiculous human being? Who happens to look like a giant monkey on crack when he attempts to dance? Dean shakes his head and frowns as the song ends. He hates the fucking show sometimes]

Dean: Sam?

Sam: *froths*

Dean: SAMMMMY!

Sam: *froths*

Dean: SAM CAN YOU HEAR ME

Sam: [eyes blink open] ...what?

Dean: Sammy! Oh thank god!

Sam: Don't call me that.

Dean: o.O

[Dean comes out of some random Starbucks imitation and makes his way over to Sam who's blowing his nose]

Dean: Dude, you okay?

Sam: Yeah

Dean: So did you see hell? You did didn't you? I saw fireballs radiating off your eyeballs

Sam: Yeah, I did but like, I'm fine.

Dean: Are you sure?

Sam: Of course, I mean it was just hell, no biggie

Dean: Of course and I have these magic pills that will cure your headache!

Sam:...Uhm, these are Tic-tacs...

Dean: SERIOUSLY THEY'RE THE BEST

Sam: o.O

Janitor: Tonight we're going hard, Just like the world is ours, We're tearin' it apart, You know we're superstars, We R who we R!

Anatomy model: ...THE FUCK.

Janitor: We're dancing like we're dumb, Our bodies go numb, We'll be forever young

Anatomy model: OH GUTS. WHAT IS THIS? AMERICAN IDOL: THE REJECTS? AFTER BEING PRODDED AND POKED BY STUPID PEOPLE ALL DAY LONG I'M NOW SUBJECTED TO KE$HA? ARE YOU SERIOUS?

Janitor: You know we're superstars, We R who we R!

Anatomy model: THAT'S IT PAL, YOU'RE DEAD!

Sam: So did this dude got his head sliced open?

Dean: Yes

Sam: Ha!

Dean: -.-

Sam: Maybe it was the anatomy doll?

Dean: Why would yo-OMG OMG IT MOVED!

Janitor 2: Dont stop, make it pop, Dj blow my speakers up,

Mannequin:...THE FUCK

Janitor 2: tonight imma fight till we see he sunlight, tick tock on the clock, but the party won't stop now, whoa - oh oh oh, whoa - oh oh oh

Mannequin: AWW HELL NAW

[Mannequinn kills the Janito]

Sam: So this dude also got his head sliced open?

Dean: Yes.

Sam: And both victims were listening to Kesha?

Dean: God knows why but yes.

[Dean's phone rings]

Dean: Lisa? STOP CALLING ME ALREADY

Ben: It's me!

Dean: Ben?

Ben: You need to come quickly!

Dean: Why?

Ben: SHE'S BEEN TAKEN HOSTAGE BY THE STAY PUFT MARSHMALLOW MAN

Dean: HOLY SHIT! I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!

Sam: Okay...so...I have to investigate the deaths.

Random doll: Basically we kill anyone who sings Ke$ha while mopping the floor

Sam:...who said that?

Random doll: Say, you have pretty hair!

Sam: OMG! I'M GOING INSANE! I need a drink...

Random doll: What about the case?

Sam: Meh, fuck it.

Random doll: Hehehehe.

Lisa: Dean...what are you doing here?

Dean: Lisa...I thought that the STAY PUFT MARSHMALLOW MAN had taken you hostage!

Lisa: Dean...what are you doing here?

Dean: Uhm, I just told you

Lisa: Yeah...but Dean what are you doing here?

Dean: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE. I'M OUTTA HERE

Ben: [looks out of window]: YOU ASSHOLE

Dean: GO TO YOUR ROOM!

Lisa: GO TO YOUR ROOM!

Ben: I'M ALREADY IN MY ROOM BITCHES!

Dean: Heheh, that's my boy

Lisa: *punches Dean*

[There's a cheesy flashback to the time that _Lisa, Ben and Dean_ spent together to "In My Head" by Jason Derulo and Dean mutes the fucking volume. Sam pouts]

Sam: Soo...

Dean:...

Sam: Oh yeah! Thanks for getting my soul back!

Dean: No problem

Sam: Yeah.

Dean: So, do you want to explain why there's a huge dent in the Impala? Did you hurt my baby?

Sam: Uhm, basically...I turned on the radio

Dean: [reaches to turn on the radio]

Sam: NO DEAN WAIT!

Impala: There's a place downtown, Where the freaks all come around. It's a hole in the wall. It's a dirty free for all.

Dean: what the hell?

Sam: seriously turn it off!

Impala: There's a place I know  
If you're looking for a show.  
Where they go hardcore  
And there's glitter on the floor.

And they turn me on.  
When they Take It Off.  
When they Take It Off.  
Everybody Take It Off.

Sam: Uhm, now's probably not a good time to turn around

Dean: [turns around] sonuva...

[There are like, a million dolls all standing in the street glaring at the impala]

Sam: uh-oh...maybe we should call Cas?

Dean: my car, my freakin' car!

**The End.**

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Dean blinks.

"Is it me or was that episode _worse _than usual?" he asks and Sam nods and says,

"It's a filler episode, so it was bound to be a bit crap! Anywho! I'm gonna go paint my face with glitter and dance to Ke$ha!" Dean just sighs. And smirks when he realises that he sent a virus to Sam's email.

"DEAN! What the hell did you do my laptop?"


End file.
